first date. of course.
you’re on the roof of a mall with a girl that smells like
your first girlfriend. summer’s facing you both
in the wrong direction
she pulls out weed from her pocket
the way someone puts their hand to your ear
when whispering a secret
and then lights it, placing it between your lip
the smoke of it inside your lungs makes you feel
the way opening a can of coke sounds
she winks at you and you can feel the city
forgetting what came before it
can feel yourself becoming thread
through the needle of her desire
down in the food court
the voices of people scribble
all around you. both of you share the same piece
of fried chicken sitting across from each other
it makes you feel like
giant wedded rodents. on your way out
she vomits all over the marble tiles
you grab tissues from your purse
and kneel to help her but she says
no it’s okay i’ll do it out of embarrassment
a kind waitress offers to clean up the mess
and you think about taking her home
because that’s what a decent person would do
so you do
you arrive at your place and sit on the bed
half naked. she looks at you like something
to step into
and you can’t help but kiss her shoulder
the smooth wet of it humming into
the haunted instrument of your mouth
the plush of her nipple on your belly
as you let her pass over you like a
breeze without hurry
your bodies fall in and out of
each other’s tense
and you’re so full of feeling
you almost have a name
she falls asleep as you
get up to pour her some water
looking back you watch her bruise
the faint light with her breathing
she becomes someone
you could love looking so
innocuous and undone
no, not love
something else. something big enough for
what girls do in the dark
sex on accident!!!!
Jessica Thiru is a Kenyan and South African poet and writer. She is the author of the chapbook Burning of Absence (Querencia Press, 2025). In 2023, she won the international category for Button Poetry’s Video Contest. Her work has also appeared or is forthcoming in SWWIM, Querencia Press’s anthology Not Ghosts, But Spirits IV and Thimble. When she’s not writing she likes going out for drinks with friends and adding to her growing trinket collection. You can find her on Instagram and most places @leechteeeth.