Hunger

The way you know
you’ll fail this diet
like you fail them all.
The way it doesn’t stop
you from gathering 
recipes, prepaying
the gym, noting
locations of lockers, buying
a new lock on the way
home. The way anything starts
bright, a star-spark flare
in the dark that lets
you catch your breath
and say yes—this time
I can feel it now even
as you fall face-first into 
a blackness you should’ve
seen coming. Hunger
burning no matter
what you eat. No 
sustenance. Living
on crumbs, licking them
shame-faced off
your fingers in the back,
the homeless man
scarfing a garbage
burger next to you
not even glancing
your way.
 
You eat and eat but 
are not satiated, this diet
of cavernous loneliness
brimmed with sweets
turns your bones weak,   
your thin heart 
beating an unsyncopated 
song. Your mouth open
like a newborn bird’s,
the richness of this 
life you chose
leaving you famished.