You did not consider
that the nearest savior
could be out-of-network.
We’ll soften the news for the kids.
We now owe a billion hugs
instead of a million—
one hug per second nets
11,574 days, 31.71 years
of hugging, easily delivered
if you do not sleep or eat or stray.
They are not expected to live
for another billion hugs.
Every round of doctors
is more efficient than the last
when apologizing.
Other people need care too.
This does not make you feel better.
Feel better. You were lucky
to have kept such company.
Hospital food has come a long way.
Everyone in this ward is in this together.
Would you like us to say a prayer?
Would You Like Us To Say A Prayer?

Brett Olsen is a writer and humorist from Cleveland, Ohio. His work has been featured in McSweeney’s, The Hard Times, ONE ART: A Journal of Poetry, Defenestration, and The Needling.