For the last few weeks
all I've been able to think about
is that it's only a matter of days
before I'll be home
to a place I've never been
but better off anyway
not being in this place
or any of the other places I've been
not being home since
August 15th
1996
in the backseat of my dads car
I saw New York City fade
and Jacob Dylan sang
about his six avenue heartache
and I've been hurting
for reasons that never made sense
like that song
I'm getting back east
or
east enough
to where I won't have to adjust
time zones or brainwaves
speech patterns or bus schedules
just throw myself out into the world
where there's always an infinity of water
and other countries to stare at
too far away to see
but welcoming with thick diesel fumes
and functioning democracies
derelict dreams on hard winter nights
huddled in old cities cobble stones to stumble on
and catch each other
not out of kindness
but cause we know we're all falling
somewhere without calloused hands to catch us
I don't know what I'm getting myself into
really
but I know I won't be sorry
to be able to say I belong some place
even if that belonging means falling in line
with the rest of the miserable sonsofbitches
struggling to see another day and another drink
and another chance
to feel whole and holy
and wholly wonderful
in a life that's hard
that makes you want to scream and yell
and not care what color or creed you are
cause it's the fucking factory owners
that have everybody starving
I'm so sick of the segregation
and the seclusion of breadbasket heartland
former slave states
they still got us all chained
to fighting each-other
too distracted to trust
and fight back
I miss that
east coast question
of Where You From?
and everybody had a grandmother
from someplace else
and whether the answer was
Slovakia or The South
the answer was always
Ah, cool
Well, you're one of us now
I just want to be a part of something
and I'm sorry
but it wasn't you
central states
flyover country
I never wanted to land here
and I don't hate you
but trying to belong
always plateaued half baked
because my heart is a compass
that always points east
So I'm saying goodbye
staring at the sky
got my fingers crossed
on a shooting star
that just like me
just moved on
home
Home

Ezhno Martin doesn’t believe in god, pronouns, american exceptionalism, most conventions of capitalization, monogamy, any form of censorship, casseroles, coming to a full stop at stop signs, chivalry, patriotism, hand washing after bathroom visits, rough sex, decorum, the importance of biological families, that 9/11 was real, and/or that the New York Knick’s are ever going to get their shit together. Ezhno lives in Toledo, Ohio. Ezhno is now from Toledo, Ohio, because that’s how that works. You can’t misgender Ezhno, because Ezhno doesn’t believe in genders, pronouns, safe spaces or any of that social-justice-warrior-rich-kid-with-a-complex bullshit. Just say “nice ass” if you’re feeling nervous or confused about the fact that the 6’2” Adonis that is Ezhno hates your counter culture just as much as the culture it opposes.